the origami thing.

"What's with all the birds?"

-anybody who has ever noticed how many paper cranes I make daily.

Well...

I need to be doing something with my hands
------ otherwise I have a hard time listening.

Possible ADD? Not sure...

I used to doodle.

Teachers got mad.

I started biting my nails.

Mom got mad.

In the 7th grade, I watched David Lee make a paper crane.

I watched and learned and began clumsily making little birds of my own.

Teachers didn't yell when flammable avians began appearing on their bookshelves, my mom could handle the tiny creatures cluttering the counters around our house (as long as you could see some white at the ends of my nails), and I was able to pay attention in AP U.S. History; everybody's happy.

As a bonus, my long nails are helpful in making irrationally tiny cranes, which other people always seem to get a kick out of.
After a while I could do it with my eyes closed.

It might be conservative to say that I make lots of them.

I don't know what my point is.

I've just noticed recently
that tons of people I know associate me with paper cranes.

I like it, I think...

But it's a little odd.

I suppose I can see how this random useless talent might be endearing to people. The end result --a paper bird-- isn't what I'm in it for; I just need to be doing something with my hands. Though, I do enjoy the look of joyful fascination on peoples' faces when I place a minuscule bird in front of them.

It looks a little something like this:

tee-hee.

Dear Mom and Dad (and other people that care),

I really love breakfast.
It turns a good day into a great day.
I found the best morning routine ever. It involves getting up an hour before I need to, reading my bible, getting dressed, eating breakfast, setting an alarm for 13 minutes before I need to leave for class, and crawling back into bed.
It makes all the early morning groggy feelings go away.
I still haven't used those coin laundry machines...
If my calculations are correct,
and I do, in fact, come home at least once a month,
I can last this entire year without using them.
It's a bit of a stretch, but I'm stubborn enough for it to happen.
Lactose-intolerance. Makes. My. Stomach. Hurt.
School work is getting a bit monotonous.
Sometimes I procrastinate... A lot.
Whenever I do, I freak out. And when it's all over, I just have to laugh at myself.
God has a sense of humor-- that's what I've learned in the past few weeks.
For example:
I waited until the day before to write an informative speech
about the effects of caffeine,
got three hours of sleep that night trying to finish it,
was completely tweaking on caffeine as I went to class to present,
aaaaand we ran out of time so I don't get to give it.
Yep.
Whenever it rains here, I am THE most prepared person on campus.
An umbrella + boots + a raincoat + a good attitude.
My umbrella is so gosh-darn pretty, everyone compliments me on it.
Thanks, Mom.
A pair of lovely friends have been plopped into my life.
They're not what I expected,
but they're just what I needed.
My Creator is so much wiser than I.
I bought this bag of candy corn that was on sale at Walmart.
I don't care for pretty much any sweets...
But I'm not gonna lie, candy corn is delicious.
And for some reason I thought it would last me for the entire month of October...
But it's definitely almost gone already.
I spend a lot of time reading.
But only half of that time is reading for classes.
I'm captivated by C.S. Lewis and Donald Miller and Jane Austen.
I can't leave them alone.
Suzanne and I go to the WRC to work out twice a week;
I usually bike so that I can keep reading.
"Exercising your mind and your body simultaneously!"
Our bathroom is very cold. It makes getting out of the shower unpleasant.
Brothers:
Do you have a giant box of legos?
Is your ball stuck in a tree?
Got a Nintendo 64?
How about a thick rope that's 100+ feet long?
Boom: countless hours of entertainment.
I have moments here when I think about how much and why I love you.
Luke-- on occasion, you use words like 'reputable' in text messages.
This makes my heart melt.
Matt-- we would make the BEST brother/sister Doo-wop duo EVER.
Don't you even try to deny it.
Reid-- I remember using Google on your computer once
and I happened to notice that the last thing you searched was "classy."
I can only assume a picture of you popped up.
Andrew-- you always try to solve my back problems
by giving me bone-crushing hugs...
It has yet to work, but I have faith for the future.
Last but not least, you all grow facial hair like grass.
These snazzy gentlemen have pinched, poked, sat on, tackled, made fun of,
and looked after me my entire life.
These tears? The ones I've got slipping down my nose right now?
They're mostly happy ones.
Fall is one of the best-smelling seasons.
The nails on my right hand are shiny, long and uniformly manicured.
The ones on my left (sans thumb) are very short and moderately janked up...
From playing the guitar.
It's always awkward when people I don't really know point it out.
Our bible study is nice. It's simple stuff,
but I feel like I learn more when I'm helping others understand things, anyway.
The leader wrote a comment to me the other day,
"You bring in some great insights (and cross references! I don't know how you do it!) that have really helped our study."
And I...
Well, I guess... I don't know 'how I do it' either?
I don't feel like I'm a particularly knowledgable biblical scholar or anything.
The only thing I can come up with
is that I was raised in an amazing church that preached the truth.
And for that I am extremely thankful.
I've started making paper cranes again.
Out of the pretty paper you two gave me for Christmas.
I love you.
One of the pieces of candy corn was super deformed....
And I haven't eaten it yet. It's just sitting on my desk.
I like it.
I miss my nieces so much it hurts.
I hear Ingrid is a thumb-sucker.
That girl knows what's up.
My dorm room is starting to feel like it's my own. It's colorful. It's cozy.
But I get swallowed up by the repetitive nature of my day-to-day life.
Some days I'm happy;
some days it feels like I'm suffocating.
Some days I laugh easily;
some days I'm ready to come home.
I'm fighting for joy,
but some days it's just hard.

I'll see you all in two days <3
((Can we have gyros?))

Dear Mom and Dad (and anyone else who might care),

I'm all settled in my dorm...
There are lots of nice people in my hall.
We just watched a movie with a projector on a giant screen under the stars.
And by we,
I mean hundreds of people that I don't know who also happen to go to UNI.
It wasn't a good movie, so I watched the cosmos instead.
I'm done with my homework.
I get it done early.
My teachers are all normal human beings.
Some of them are even kind.
I couldn't find one of my classes on Tuesday and I didn't tell anyone.
It wasn't my fault or anything; my schedule had the wrong room number on it.
Don't worry, I figured it out. Eventually...
And went and talked to the professor,
to apologize for my freshman-ness,
and see what I missed and how I could be prepared for the next class:
I handled it by myself.
I felt like a grown-up,
and a scared little kid,
all at the same time.
Every morning I wake up a little too early.
So I go to the union and eat a muffin and drink some juice and read my bible...
And I wait for my day to begin.
People smile at me.
I smile back.

It's been a while since I hit my head on my loft.

A while translates into roughly 6 hours.

I clipped my nails today, because I couldn't play my guitar.
Someone tell my nieces that their aunt loves them, okay?

I'm scared to try to use the coin laundry machines.
I stay up later than I mean to every night.
I miss my brothers.
Advice from my first week: if your biggest pet peeve is air blowing on you,
don't live in a place that's SO hot you're forced to have fans on you 24/7.
I've been eating remarkably heathy meals each day.
My love of spinach is accredited to Earl Taylor.
Thanks, bud.
This morning I awoke to discover the astonishing fact that
both my watch AND the clock on our wall had stopped working overnight.
I proceeded to freak out, thinking I had overslept,
only to find my phone, which had fallen on the floor, revealing the time to be
5:38 AM.
Yep.
I've been quoted in two peoples' Facebook statuses this week.
Reading one made me cry...
The other one was:
"We're church shoppin' like it's Black Friday!"
Explanation:
At the end of the week,
I will have gone to precisely 11 church-affiliated events.
Separate churches.
Separate events.
I'm tired.
I miss my house church.
I miss my Mother church.
I miss...
Remind me to buy batteries.
And more tea bags.
And probably some instant oatmeal, if it's on sale.
I went on a run the other day.

My ancient phone has been working well-- I know you were wondering.

The desk lamp I got from Goodwill has a warning about UV radiation.........

Should I be concerned?

Luke: I've had some time to read C.S.,
but I don't know if I'll be done by Labor Day.

My heels hurt when they touch the floor each morning.
Not so sure what that's about...

Today I called my high school French teacher,
and I thanked her for preparing me so well.
Many of the people in my classes can't pronounce basic vocabulary...
I feel like a French wizard--- magically capable of helping them out.
Sometimes I break pens.
Pencils, highlighters, staplers...
Mom... Should I be watering our plant more? How much sunlight does it need?
I miss your morning hugs.
And the other-times-of-day ones, too.
So far I've only made two paper cranes during my entire time here.

I have a terrible feeling that that's symbolic in some horrible way...

I want a best friend.

I want a best friend who lives near me.

I want a best friend who lives near me and loves Jesus.

I want a best friend who lives near me and loves Jesus and shows it.

I've said my name, majors, hometown and grade more times this week
than my junior and senior years combined.
Dad, you know what a feat that is.
... and I have a picture of us
skating when I was 11 years old
framed on my desk.

With Colossians 1:9-12 and "Do good" written by it.

Sometimes I just feel like crying.
You know what I mean?

Has anyone else noticed how long my recent posts have been?

Yeah, me too.

I thought it was time for some lighter material.

Or maybe not lighter.

Maybe just less.

Gainer showed me this video.

And it made me extremely happy,

like,

happy-tears, bubbly-feeling-in-your-stomach,

can't-wipe-that-stupid-grin-off-your-face, happy.

I'm not sure why.

Me and paper cranes, we go way back...

Freshman year I watched David Lee make one

and I figured out how.

There are now flocks of flamable birds on all my teachers' shelves.

Dozens made every day.

I do it now without thinking about it.

But when I do take the time to think about it,

I find that there's something endearing

about my frail attempts at creating an imitation of life,

those little folded pieces of winged paper;

like a child playing,
pretending to do their parents' work.

I used to pretend I was an architect, like my dad...

All I would do was color pictures on old blueprints.

Things haven't changed much.