this season

I love.

Guy Fawkes Day

Remember, Remember

The fifth of November

V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villian by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengence; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Evey: Are you like a crazy person?

V: I'm quite sure they will say so.

What I was sure of yesterday...

I now know to be false.

But what I am sure of today is absolutely true.

....for now.

Life spins off in crazy directions, and sometimes we lose our balance.

I think I get caught up in the stress of it all and forget where I'm actually headed.

what's important

why I've been put here

who I'm becoming.

And I get a moment to come up for air and realize that I'm terrified, and I have no idea what the future is gonna look like. And that feeling in my stomach, in the back of my mind, it starts to creep in until I don't feel anything but worry. It doesn't accomplish anything.

Worrying is a synonym for not trusting if God's plan.

And he has a plan, I've been shown that over and over and over. But I'm insatiable and insecure so I guess I need to be continually reminded-- and I THANK GOD that he is a merciful and patient and loving god.

When I get lost in worry or stress, I peddle backwards through my mind until I find something that I can grasp, something to hold onto and put my trust and faith in.

And the simple truths that always stand are these:
> Jesus died for us. And HE ROSE.
>He LOVES us in an indescribable way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCunuL58odQ

>God has made everything beautiful in its time. There is a plan for us and it is incredible, and if he showed it to us, wouldn't it ruin the surprise?

>He has set eternity in the hearts of men. "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

>Everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing can be taken away from it. He is perfect and so is everything he has orchestrated.

So I'm giving this up to him.

Autumn's colors

Sometimes, when I'm writing or typing something, my ideas flow too fast for me to keep up with them. I'm chasing after leaves on the wind, able to snag a few before they blow away... but not all of them. I feel like those are lost forever, but I don't know how much it matters, because I don't know how valuable they were to begin with.

I write without thinking, carelessly throwing words onto paper. Maybe because, through some narcissism rooted deep in my subconscious, I think that every thought that drops through my mind is a jewel to be cherished...

I don't know what it is, but the whole blog thing probably isn't very curative in that regard...

These leaves weren't caught in chronological order.

People used to chisel their ideas into stone.

I wonder how many actual jewels were lost in that grueling process...

I take everything for granted.

I don't want to take advantage of anything anymore.I want to appreciate and cherish every blessing I have.

I want to see people loving each other and be in awe of creation's beauty and wonder at my existence....

and I want the result of all of that to be me simply longing to know God more.

I want to be thirsty for a closer relationship with Him.

I want that relationship to be obvious to the people around me.

I want it to catch them off guard

and make them wonder at their existence.

I want....

'Want' kind of means desire, it doesn't seem necessary.. You have "wants" and "needs", and apparently that makes the things you want superficial.

It used to feel more like you were lacking something, a deeper need. "In want of..."

So I think that maybe I should go back to every place I used the word 'want' and change it to something like, 'have a deep, inherent, longing need'

Needing to know more of God is buried in my DNA.

inherent. not unnecessary.